pains of loneliness moans

pains of loneliness moans 

you don’t know the phases of my struggle for existence
in science i cover all the states of matter in affection
i was born to live of love in 90s classified gradation
i fathom the orbit of life is full of pain and affliction.

i was happy a child, laughed and cheered all the while
i woke up, brushed to breakfast and school in the mile
the days were planned to learn and play, no worries to define
everyone of my age were golden stars in the eyes, love divine.

time was never a matter to disturb my fun in light lime
visiting friends and relatives was leisure pleasing chime
i explored every minute and hour asking questions on the line
every soul i met seemed a great scholar to show the life design.

i had vacations, enjoyed moments of life without any tensions
there were times to spend with family, tête-à-tête in transition
i had no one to miss and enjoy but just my mother’s care in joy
life was complete with what i had being with my self love alloy.

but time changed and i was left alone with my battling ambition
i was unknown of the way, i had to travel through hard conditions
heart ignored my brain, vice-versa efforts to find the solutions
i slip out of my position, life surrounded me in dark competition.

my eyes runs round the world and grinding halt at the driving clock
i stand sightless cultivated in bitter taste of life to smile mock
and being the root to plant my life on earth of the supple rock
i feel pain haunts my soulful creation with broken trust to knock.

my heart in pursuit of someone to care for me in the long life run
a friend, a soul to understand and fill the void with trust and fun
but life has repeated to kill my state filling emptiness in the chest
i kept bleeding blind with the hole in heart isolated to real rest.

i stride through the day being in my own fancy of prisoner’s cell
i cry in my sleep holding the pillow tight, the night is never well
i wish someone could hold me being in trance, sing my pain to romance
loneliness is a black hole, i find only darkness being its hell goal.

people says, and even time travels to say, no one is alone in life
god walks to match your steps alight, even feels your emotional fight
but why do i then feel this loneliness in life, feeling to break apart
i feel cold, numb to freeze, a demon of lonely to shut my center down.

i wish i was a child, i wanted to fly so high, a reality escaped to lie
i wish nothing changed in the state of my mind, being always happy inside
but life is both light and dark, where darkness has banged to hold my part
i was happy a child, i never wished loneliness would please my life to vile.

this is how i exist now in the miles to run and live through WHAT IS LIFE!
is it happy and carefree to run, play, sing, dance and live in the top world
or is it pain and darkness blown hollow in resentment with lost identity fold
a naked fact in my sense is loneliness, the face in the mirror is in ache so old.

i am clinched by depression, my shadows are lost without any impression
i am chocking in my core turmoil, i could never ever express in confession
a day will soon turn to me, i would be buried dead with my lonely obsession
the dews from dark clouds would hail to taste and feel my lonely discretion.

i am sailing in the river of loneliness, weeping like rain to drowsiness
i am lonely and alone, i wish i was never known of these feelings to moan.

thank you so much for stopping by. i found your love. it means a lot to me. i will see you soon.

with love – prabhatks